The Wagon… and clawing my way back onto it.

Posted by chickiepea on October 11, 2011 · 4 Comments 

A few weeks ago, I was stricken with the flu… or some kind of horrible cold. No matter what you call it, or what it actually was, it really defeated me for quite sometime, as far as motivation and energy to do much- including food prep. The end result was also that I relaxed some standards and started eating junk.

The week that I was actually sick enough to be in bed, I lost about ten pounds. My throat was really too sore to eat much solid food, and I mostly craved smoothies, broth, and gelatin anyway. I felt really great digestion-wise, and was determined to cut back on my grains again as a result. But… then I was exhausted and needed quick meals. Pasta, rice, and potatoes are all so easy, quick, and versatile, and always in the house in some form or another, thus undermining my efforts.

I also started indulging in really stupid things like store-bought ice-cream (gluten-free! organic!) and telling myself it was fine. It wasn’t- it’s NOT. Here I am feeling sluggish, craving more and more sugar, and a few nights ago, eating chips, ice-cream and wine all in one sitting, and AFTER a carb-heavy dinner.

A tummy-ache and massive headache combo convinced me that I was spiraling downward into the “organic junk food” sinkhole again, I vowed to do better- IMMEDIATELY! Here I am, then, to confess my sins:

Over the past month, I have bought ice-cream three times. Once, when I was sick, Twig bought “natural” popsicles to soothe my throat (Acceptable, though not perfect.) The second time was coconut-milk bars from the health food store (Indulgent, but not terrible- we had one each.) The third time was two pints of organic cow’s milk ice-cream that included some no-nos like dextrose and xantham gum. I ate a pint over the course of three nights, and Twig consumed the other pint over two nights (Oooh, BAD, BAD, BAD.) The night after they were eaten, I was tempted to run out and buy more. (Uh-oh… see the problem here??)

I have bought 3-4 packages of “acceptable” cookies for the girls- giving them, not only treats throughout the day, but oatmeal cookies for BREAKFAST when I was too exhausted to get up and actually cook. I’m really ashamed. If we want cookies, we should MAKE them, not BUY them. They shouldn’t be an every day thing, much less a breakfast thing or multiple-time a day thing. The good news is, I don’t think they suffered for it. Even when I was partly delirious, I could hear Goose taking the reins and pushing lunch-meat or nuts for protein for breakfast (in addition to the cookie each!) That, in itself, almost makes backsliding worth it- to know she is actually absorbing good eating habits.

Yesterday, Twig and I split up and went to two separate grocery stores, to stock the larder with healthier, and fresher, fare. I am proud to say that we all ate whole food yesterday, and I felt better than I have since having had the flu, and SLEPT better too. I did have one tiny square of chocolate and 2 cups of coffee, but I am not beating myself up over those.

I did skip breakfast, and vow to do better. Part of my problem, even on a “good” day, is that I don’t eat enough. Hopefully, I can get into the habit of prepping food in advance, so there are always quick and easy things to grab and eat that AREN’T carbs. I’m not planning to post every single thing I eat from now on, but here are my past few meals, of which I am pretty proud! The truth is, if I just plan ahead a little and throw things in the slow-cooker, these are no harder to prep or time-consuming than boiling a pot of pasta or rice. So here I am, scrambling back up on the wagon.

Yesterday:

Lunch:
water
raw milk
4 lettuce wraps w/sprouts, carrots, goat cream cheese, turkey
3 clementines
fermented cod liver oil capsules

Snack:
baked sweet potato w/butter and cinnamon
water

Dinner:
water, water, water
butter-roasted chicken w/herbs, sweet onions, and mushrooms
huge fresh salad and crudites w/homemade ranch dressing
fruit salad w/green and purple grapes, strawberries, apple, coconut, honey, chia and flax seeds

Snacks:
half-caff coffee
water
2 squares of organic/fair trade dark chocolate w/caramel and black sea salt
handful of salted almonds
piece of raw cheddar cheese
another clementine

Today:

Breakfast:
raw milk with vanilla extract
half-caff coffee
water
GF oatmeal w/cinnamon, a touch of maple syrup, cultured organic butter, whole apple, handful of raisins

Lunch:
water w/ a little cherry juice
salad w/carrots, sprouts, peppers, chia/flax/sunflower seeds
Southwestern roasted turkey breast (from Whole Foods)

Snack:
water
clementine
a bit of homemade granola (made w/sunflower seeds, applesauce, dried cherries and chia seeds)

Dinner:
homemade white-bean soup (slow-cooked for almost 24 hours) w/carrots, garlic, mustard greens, tomato

Snack:
coffee
Pure Organic Chocolate Brownie Bar (has agave, and I should have eaten only half of it- wow, it was sweet!)

I’m definitely craving more fat than I’m consuming, and need to remember to eat more good fats rather than sweets. I also need to cut back on the coffee and substitute some smoothies, and really get serious about drinking more water. I walked around the kitchen for a good 10 minutes today wondering what it was I was really craving, and finally came to the conclusion that I was really THIRSTY, and not hungry at all.

The good news is, that blogging DOES help. It helps keep me accountable, helps me to read back over the past year and a half and look at how far we’ve come and give me ideas for new recipes and remind me of old ones. Even when we backslide, we’re still light years away from where we were even two or three years ago, which is GREAT. I’m proud of us for eating really well 99% of the time, but there is always, always, always room for improvement too!

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